Through My Eyes

Timing was everything.

Here We Go Again

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Dating. To some it spawns anxiety, excitement, a trip to upper Haight to get something sexy to wear (or more realistically with a grad student’s budget – a trip to the laundry room to wash jeans that have been worn repeatedly over the last six days). Since having ended the relationship with my former boyfriend almost two months ago, I’ve been released into the wild. And by wild, I mean the nightlife on Polk, Valencia, and Green streets.

This past weekend, one of my college roommates, Jessica (who’s slated to be married this fall) was visiting. So, of course, my girlfriends felt it necessary to re-live the glory days. We headed to R Bar (yep, the little Fernet dive that smells like someone cut the cheese or puked in the back or both) – classy, I know. Jessica and I were up at the bar ordering drinks, as our friend Natalie (within a minute of our arrival) was already chatting up an attractive, charming, and seemingly normal brunette.  When I turned around, I caught the piercing blue eyes of this absolutely beautiful creature.  He was about 6’2″ or 3,” could be mistaken for Kelly Slater, and smiled widely with these perfectly white pearls of teeth. Physically, you could do no wrong with this one.

After exchanging pleasantries for a few minutes, I asked if he and the other two members of his wolf pack would come to Vertigo with us. We walked over as a group (somehow losing the platonic male friends we had originally met up with) and after cutting in line with a bunch of randoms, got in. He ordered my friends and I our drinks and walked over to the dance floor with us. This is when my first concern dawned. He was holding his drink, smiling, but there was no movement from his body. He wouldn’t dance. I mean, I’ve dated guys who can’t dance, but will purely do so because they enjoy it and have fun with it. But, this guy would not dance. Not even for a second. Not even after I tried coaxing him into letting go and just having fun with it. Nope, he justified this by saying he was waiting for a specific song. I asked what song that would be. Jackson 5 – ABC. Oh boy.

As the night went on, and Jessica started swaying and holding onto steady wooden structures for balance, Natalie and I knew it was time to tuck the bride-to-be into bed soon. We apologized for our impromptu departure and said our goodbyes. R Bar guy tilted his head and asked how he could reach me. I gave him my number and left.

Two days later, I got a text that said, “Hey Winnie, it’s _____. What’s up?” Thinking – OK, maybe he’s witty in person – I responded, and we agreed to meet up yesterday after my night class. He suggested we go to Cal Academy of Sciences, which would have made for a great date, only the exhibit was going to feature mountain lions and other animals in the feline family. Perhaps not the most conducive to getting-to-know-you conversation. Because I usually get home from class an hour after it ends, we didn’t have much time, so we decided to go to Northstar in North Beach instead. I know what you’re thinking. First date…at a dive bar…with multiple large screens displaying sports of every sort. What are we – undergrads?

It could have been a disaster. But it wasn’t. I mean, it wasn’t the greatest. As soon as we walked in, we were greeted by several guys who used to work at my former company. Of course I would have to endure some teasing. We sat and talked pretty much the entire time. After Northstar, we went to Columbus Cafe and shot pool. I won the first round, he won the second. Fair enough. The night was still young, so we headed back to my neighborhood and went into McTeague’s for one last round. After being there for about twenty minutes, I asked about his age. Twenty four. It’s really not that much younger, but what I have been surprised by is the number of younger guys I’ve met in the last month or so. It seems like everyone I meet these days is twenty-five, give or take a year. Is it because I look young? Am I going to places where younger people hang out on weekends? Or maybe I’m subconsciously seeking out someone/thing that I know I don’t have to take seriously. Whatever it is, it never fails to throw me off just a little.

Two of my girlfriends have reassured me that this is normal, and they’ve been experiencing the same thing. Something that I have noticed, though, is the guys I’m meeting are at a stage in their lives when they’re really not sure what they want out of their jobs, lives, etc. When we have those initial conversations over dinner or drinks, I’m pretty passionate about what I want to be doing in the next year or two and have been vocal about it. I feel pretty grounded about what I’m doing now and how I’m going to get to my goals. In some instances, I find that this is intimidating to the guys I’m meeting. I’ve even asked my male roommate, “Should I dumb it down a notch when I’m out on a date? Is it weird for them if I’m confident or come off overly confident?” He thinks I’m meeting the wrong people. Perhaps I should just avoid places where I can smell what someone had for dinner.


Written by winniewongsf

April 1, 2011 at 7:03 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

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