Through My Eyes

Timing was everything.

Solo

with one comment

We all have those days when we feel very alone.  (Right?)

Some of my closest girl friends have moved out of the city.  Most of my male and female friends have significant others and seem to be spending more and more time with those significant others.  With someone that I care about living across the pond, I’ve had a lot of time to think about the balance everyone tries so hard to maintain.

I question whether I have made enough of an effort to maintain the relationships I have with people. For most of my friends and I, we are at that age when people start to drift apart because of different schedules, maturity, more responsibilities.  It’s fine.  I understand it.  I embrace it most of the time.

But then, there are nights like these.  I know what people are doing around me.  I can do those things too.  Yet, I feel like I need to sit and think.  I need to feel okay about how things are and what the bigger picture is.  I’m meeting up with a friend later, but I feel completely restless right now.  I’ve been sitting here for the last hour, just stumped.

I’ve always been somewhat of a loner.  Regardless of how many friends I seem to have or acquaintances I know or people that would vouch for me, I find myself alone a lot of the time.   Have I been a bad friend?  Do I keep too much of a distance with people?  Do people feel like they don’t know me?  The answer might be yes to all of those questions.

It’s hard to know how people perceive you. Sure, you have somewhat of an image projected in your head of what they might see and what they might think.  But you truly never know unless you are them.

It doesn’t really matter.  It’s figuring out what you think of yourself and being okay with it that matters.

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Written by winniewongsf

July 30, 2010 at 8:59 pm

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. It’s tricky being alone on a weekend night. There’s so much expectation that you should be out partying, or in whatever way with other people, that you sort of feel like a loser even if you’re perfectly happy to be alone!

    Deirdré Straughan

    July 30, 2010 at 10:59 pm


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