Through My Eyes

Timing was everything.

More late night musings and half-assed theories

with one comment

Do you ever feel sadistic?  Like you’re out to get yourself and willing to threaten any good thing that can happen to you?  On more than one occasion, I’ve entered a romantic relationship hearing these words in the back of my mind: “This relationship will self destruct in…X.5 seconds.”

I have this theory that, in general, creative people thrive most when they’re unattached.  Think about it.  All that pent-up sexual frustration (that’s if you’re not getting any), all that free time being independent, all those people you meet and talk to without thinking for a second, “Oh no!  Should I go back to insert name here?   They’re looking over here. Maybe I shouldn’t be so wrapped up in this conversation with someone other than shmoopy pie.”  Don’t worry.  I don’t actually call my significant other “shmoopy pie.”  I only use that with the guys I really dig.

Anyway, I keep going back and forth about how being in a relationship (negatively) affects you as an individual. My boyfriend and I have discussed this, and although you wouldn’t think this when meeting him, he is so damn sweet in his conclusions.   It usually makes me wonder whether he’s being genuine – it’s that damn sweet.  And the ironic thing is, I’m not even looking out for my best interest.  I’m really looking out for him.  I want him to not just be full of potential, but actually be able to reach his full potential.

Sometimes, I think that my ex-boyfriends are better off without me.  My college boyfriend, after we broke up, became a research assistant to this amazing, well-respected professor slash CNN correspondent who wrote a successful book that I’m sure you’ve read or have come across in any popular global studies/political science/international relations course.  He went on to get accepted into a competitive, paid-for, Masters program at a prestigious institution in London to pursue further studies and world travel before settling down in good ol’ Portland.  My former boyfriend got promoted to being a manager at his large corporation and is now getting well-deserved recognition for the great work that he does every day in his job.  Why does it seem like things get better for them after you’re out of their lives?  These two individuals now have new girlfriends, and things are just fine and dandy (or so they seem).

I might be completely sabotaging the price of my stock as I write this.  But hey, I’m the only one who’s stuck with me forever, so, might as well be honest, right?

To my “shmoopy”, who may or may not be reading this, you know how I feel about this sort of thing.  I hope our relationship isn’t hampering your ability to be creative.  (Do people even say hampering anymore?  I swear, my vocabulary is so archaic sometimes.  *Note to self – observe and listen to what the kids are saying these days.)

I wish my school programs would start already.  Then, I wouldn’t have the time nor energy to write about things that may or may not get me in trouble.

Written by winniewongsf

April 22, 2010 at 1:35 am

Posted in Uncategorized

One Response

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  1. love the theory! and your comment on your vocabulary made me laugh.


    June 16, 2010 at 2:51 pm

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